Building the Kingdom of God in Families
When we were asked to speak on Building the Kingdom of God in families, I realized I had never thought much about what the Kingdom of God meant. When I looked in the Topical Guide and Bible Dictionary, this is what I found.
The Topical Guide had two entries for the Kingdom of God: The Kingdom of God in Heaven which God prepares for us, and the Kingdom
of God on Earth which we must work to create.
The Bible Dictionary says:
These terms are used in various combinations and with varying meanings. Generally speaking, the kingdom of God on the earth is the Church. It is a preparation for the greater kingdom—the celestial or kingdom of heaven. However, kingdom of heaven is sometimes used in scripture to mean that the true church on the earth is the path to heaven and is the kingdom of heaven on earth.
The true church on the earth
is the kingdom of heaven on the earth. Isn’t that what we all want- heaven on
earth? We can have that in our families when we seek to build the kingdom of
God.
As I considered this, I
realized that the word kingdom here is really a metaphor. What do we think of
when we hear the word kingdom? A king and queen on their thrones leading and
guiding their subjects. But what kingdom have we ever seen where the king is
available for consult 24/7? What kingdom has offered to every citizen a place
in the castle and a seat on an eternal throne? What king is all knowing,
everywhere, and perfect? The word
Kingdom as God intends it must mean something for which we have no word and no
way of understanding while we are here on the earth. Since we cannot understand
the bigger picture or the extent of his mercy and love, he asks us to come to
understand it by working to build his kingdom while here.
Matthew 6 talks about the
Kingdom of God on earth and in heaven. The Lord’s prayer says,
11 Give us this day our daily bread.
13 And lead us not into temptation, but deliver
us from evil: For thine is
the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever.
In the same chapter, Christ continues to explain how his earthly
Kingdom and his heavenly kingdom relate to us:
19 ¶Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon
earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and
steal:
20 But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven,
where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break
through nor steal:
From the very beginning, Satan has wanted to claim the earth as
his Kingdom. One of the tricks he uses
is to confuse us and convince us our purpose in life is to build our own
kingdoms. He wants us to think we can be
in complete control of our own lives. We need to build our own castles, attract
our own fawning subjects, amass huge amounts of wealth, wear the finest
clothes, and live in the lap of luxury.
Doesn’t that sound like the definition of kingdom we usually see? But God tells us that if we will seek his kingdom instead of our own, he will
take care of us. And I can testify of
that. Continuing in Matthew 6:28
And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the
lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin:
30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field,
which to day is, and to morrow is cast into the oven, shall he not
much more clothe you, O ye of little faith?
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat?
or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for
your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33 But seek ye first the kingdom of
God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto
you.
What hard things to learn! What do you mean don’t worry about
what we’ll eat or drink or wear? That’s all our bodies are programmed to think
about! What morning don’t we ask “Wherewithal shall I be clothed?” For this reason, the Lord sends us to earth in
families: to teach us how to build his kingdom instead of our own with an eye
towards being united in His eternal kingdom which he has prepared for us.
When I met Joseph, one of my favorite things about him was that
he put others before himself and I knew he had great desires to serve God. I knew that he would choose God first. We made goals together to build God’s kingdom
by starting a family. Well, I quickly
became aware that things didn’t often go as I’d planned. Before we got married,
you think I’d have learned that, but I actually thought I was pretty good at
relationships and compromising and I knew I was really patient. Depending on someone else and compromising to
do what he wanted for the day wasn’t easy. We had different ideas on lots of things. I
would get easily discouraged and ornery.
As his birthday neared and we’d been married a year, I prayed to know
what meaningful thing I could get him for his birthday. My answer came: He
would like you to smile more. He’s a
pretty upbeat guy, and I didn’t think he appreciated having an ornery
wife. As I studied and pondered how to
smile more, I received this acronym:
S-Stop
M-Meditate
I-Initiate a new action
L- Laugh- do something to laugh
E- Evaluate. How did it work. Do I still feel ornery? If it didn’t work, start over again. Try a
different action.
Having kids didn’t make “seeking God’s kingdom” or the happiness
of others any easier. Now I didn’t sleep at night and someone followed me
around undoing the work I did on MY kingdom!
I’m so thankful that the Lord gives us repentance and prayer. With a lot
of both, I am learning to lean on the Lord more. I am also learning to trust
that when I work at something, the Lord is building right alongside me. I love this quote by C.S. Lewis:
Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense. What on earth is He up to? The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were being made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come and live in it Himself.
That is what we are building when we
build the kingdom of God- it is not for our glory, but in glorifying him, we
become glorified. One time just a few years ago, Joseph and I went to a class
about maintaining your marriage while parenting. It ended up that we were the
only people who showed up. The teacher asked us about what challenges we faced
and here was our answer:
We have three kids, I’m pregnant, he’s
unemployed, we’re starting a new company, he’s the scout master, I’m in the
primary presidency, and let’s see. . . We’re remodeling our house- only a
toilet in the bathroom.
We sounded so pathetic on paper.
I
don’t even remember what advice the teacher gave us, but we laughed hysterically
about it on the drive home and we slept well that night because we knew in our
hearts that we were building the kingdom of God.
After 11 years of parenting, there are a few key things Joseph and I have learned:
1. Pray, Read your Scriptures, and have family night.
2. Repent as quickly as possible. It saves a lot of hurt
and maintains trust in our family.
3. Use the programs of the church to teach our kids. As
my daughter, Elsie, began school this year, she was not at all excited. She had
a pretty bad attitude about it. I felt inspired to write a note and give her a
copy of For the Strength of Youth. I asked her to read the part on Education.
She shared some of the things she liked later, and she’s even taught a FHE
lesson about it since. I also have a
strong testimony of scouting and the change it can make in boys.
4. Plan time for the most important things first- the
things of God actually give you clarity of vision to solve other problems more
quickly.
5. Don’t turn down opportunities to serve because of the
kids. The service will be 100 times stronger teacher than our words will ever
be.
6. Make routine the most important things. As an example that works for our family but
is just an application, not a doctrine: Our Sunday Schedule- Interviews and
tithing, Family History, Service, and work on church programs together.
I know as we work on family history or share stories, my kids
are strengthened by the sense of belonging to something much bigger. They gain
a vision of the kingdom of God. I have also felt that they have angels to
attend them. I am not the only one teaching my kids.
7. Invite others to be a part of your joy- if they
decline, don’t be offended. Show them you still love them for who they are- not
because you wanted to change them.
Remember the question, “Wherewithal shall we be clothed?” Here is the Lord’s answer to the house of
Israel in the last days:
Isaiah 49 or 1 Nephi 21:18
18 Lift up thine eyes round about and behold; all
these gather themselves together, and they shall come to
thee. And as I live, saith the Lord, thou shalt surely clothe thee with them
all, as with an ornament, and bind them on even as a bride.
What will we wear? In God’s kingdom we will be adorned with the
people we influence in this life.
The Kingdom of God is not physical in nature. It consists of
people- people God wants us to touch and influence. When we build the kingdom of God, we build
people and they, in turn, build us.. When the Kingdom of God on the earth and
the Kingdom of God in heaven unite, we will find ourselves bound to all of
them.
